Day 71: Nogastalic

Packing Packing Packing.

I have "matriculated" my freshman year of college.

Yes. And I passed!

Now time to pack up and go to HAWAII...in two weeks...

Day 70: Somedays

Somedays it's SO hard for me to understand this. I wish I could put complete faith in the people around me sometimes. I am surrounded by such honest and spectacular beings, who live their lives in selfless ways I cannot ever imagine, yet for some reason confiding in them feels so difficult at times.I will always be surrounded by people that love me, but can I ever find a way to love them selflessly back?

Day 69: Struggling

"Sometimes I feel as cold as steel, broken like I am never going to heal".

It's true. We all go through pain, we all go through hurt. Some hide it better then others. Some hide it from themselves even. Sometimes it's so frustrating you just want to give it all up. Give up trying anymore. But you can't. The hardest part is to keep going. The most terrifying thing in the world is to continue on. Especially when no one knows.

Day 68: GLITTER

Did a shoot with AuraLea today :)

It was a TON of fun. and there was a TON of glitter.

The pictures came out great, and it was a pretty quick shoot!!

Check out my Facebook page for more photos!

Day 67: Myself

Self-digging. Digging deeper and deeper, terrified for what I might find. 

Questioning so many different aspects of myself. 

Every time I go up, I find myself back down again.

Day 66: Love and Dreams

Love?

Dreams?

Impossibilities?

Day 65: chocolate, eggs, bunnies, baskets, happiness, love

Happy Easter!

Minus whatever you believe, Easter is at least a extremely wonderful welcoming to spring :)

Day 64: JAVVVVVV

that's me :)

at the BYU meet.

oh javelin. you and i have mixed feelings for each other.

deep love is always there, of course :)

Day 63: Healthy Food NUT!

I have an obsession with food.

Healthy food that is.

It's so wonderfully wonderful the things that food can do for you.

It can change you moods, your body, and your future health.

I love eating healthy, I honestly do.

In the past six months I have become a stickler about healthy food and preservatives and high fructose corn syrup. I'm crazed.

Seriously.

And today was a day of all healthy, good food days.

Breakfast: Eggs sunny side up with whole wheat toast and a glass of 1% milk.

Lunch: locally grown beet salad with goat cheese and homemade vinaigrette dressing; grilled tofu and vegetable kabobs.

Dinner: sautéed veggies doused in a locally made balsamic dressing with locally made bread.

this was the best food day in a LONG time. YUM!

PS-buy local, buy organic, it will work wonders for you :)

Day 62: Down. So Far Down.

Yes, that's my bear.

He doesn't have a name, I'm not sure why.

Actually, he is kind of Bella's bear...she loves him but I stole him from her :)

That bear means that world to me, for a lot of reasons. He's a good snuggle-er too!

Especially when all you want is a good snuggle, and a reason to feel better...

PJs and a bear. Sometimes being a kid again is the most appealing thing in the world.

Day 61: Coloring My World

Quote of the Day: If you don't do what you love, a little part of you will die each day".

Do what you love, do what makes you happy.

You know what makes me happy?

My friends. Whom I could NOT live without. I have the best friends in the world and I love them to pieces.

My camera. Which I could NOT live without. Photography makes me happy.

Blue skies, mountains, running, Javelin, spontaneous road trips, laughter, Whole Foods (and REAL food, not fake processed crap), snowy mornings, deep conversations, family support, my dog (who I am seriously struggling to live without!!), acres and acres of grass fields, afternoon sunlight, country music, books, white chocolate chips, Christmas-time, grandparents, hiking, surprises, and love.

These are a few of my favorite things.

Day 60: Brainoverload

Hi I'm a college professor and I like to overload your brains with tons and tons of homework, and I like to do it at the EXACT same time as all the other professors. Yup. College in a nutshell.

Day 59: ....

Tea I love you.

You make everything better!

Frustrated with people. And unnecessary problems.

All I can say is: "let's get rich and give everybody nice sweaters and teach them how to dance".

Show someone a smile tomorrow, it might just be the only smile they see all day.

Day 58: Nuts, dried fruit, into the wild, and friends

Yup. The title about sums it up.

Sorry for the crappy picture...

:(

Day 57: Finding Peace

I just want to roam.

I have decided that today, for the fiftieth time in my life.

I just want to roam to the ends of the earth.

Just my camera and me.

Taking photos of whatever inspires me along the way.

Today, Stella and I went to a place that has been added to the top of my list as BEST PLACE EVER. If I could picture heaven, this place would be it. I just wanted to sit on a rock and imagine for eternity. Imagining a world full of love and peace. Love for others, and peace within myself.

Today, was the perfect day.

Life was so surreal.

It's so nice to get out of the crazy, hectic world and just find some peace. I can just strip down to who I really am, and accept it, because there's nothing there not to accept. Something about the mountains and lake and naturalness brought out the best in me, it always does, and will always make me happy. 

Day 56: Greener Grass

Credit: Stella took this photo.

Absolute pure happiness with a good tree to climb, a bit of yoga, and a good friend.

How come when that all goes away, all that's left is emotions run wild?

Day 55: Permanent

This mark you have left on my soul, it's like a permanent marker.

Day 54: Miserable at Best

So. Frustrated.

With so many things.

So. Confused.

With so many things.

People.

I just want to get up and move on.

But how come, every time I have done that in that past, even though I tried to convince myself otherwise, it felt as if I were just running away? Running away because I was scared. 

I've told myself I'm going to change. I'm going to go through it, and become a better person, for myself and for the people around me.

Because the people around me deserve so much more than what I give them.

Singing "Breathe" by TSwift and "Just say yes" by Ken Andrews over and over and over again.

Day 53: It's Time

So I said in an earlier post that I'm going to take a leap.

A huge leap.

I have decided to go into photography as a career.

I have been thinking about it for MONTHS. Almost a year now.

I have come to the conclusion that when my camera is in my hand, I am happiest.

So no matter how much certain people try to stop me from doing this...I'm doing it.

I want to do this.

Because I want to be happy.

So I wrote myself a bunch of post-it's about what I want to do in my life and how I am going to get there. The above one is one of my biggest goals in life.

I want to change the world, camera in hand.

HERE WE GOOOOO!!!!! :)

Day 52: I'm here

I'm here. Right here. In this moment in time. Nothing is before me, nothing comes after me.

Just right here. Taking it all in.

Day 51: Coffee and Essays

Typed a 6-page paper today on Environmental Ethics.

Typed it at Coffee Garden :)

Wonderfulllll!!

Took a bunch of pictures on my crappy film camera, but unfortunately I can't upload those yet :(

One of the disadvantages to film!!!

Day 50: 21 Hours

This post is going to be exceedingly long because SO much happened today and I want to remember it forever. So I'm going to write about my adventure :)

Stella and I got up at 7 AM to go to Blue Plate for an early breakfast before the 5K we planned to run this morning. We were tired, of course, so deliriousness was a factor. While waiting for our omelets, we decided to build fortresses with creamers, sugar packets and jelly packets. Oh yes. I like to connect with my inner five-year-old at least once a day, and Stella easily helps me do that. We then ran our 5K in the snow/rain. We ran like HEALTH. It was a great morning. We then got free coupons to Juicy Berry, so decided to head down there for some frozen yogurt, even though we were freezing (again, deliriousness still there). And I'll say it right now and stand by it forever, SPOON ME IS BETTER. It always will be :) Afterwards, we headed up to shower and get warm clothes. Then we met up with Taylor and headed to a traditional Native American powwow. It was way cool!! Lots of dancing and fun. Then we got hungry and weren't exactly craving Indian tacos, so we headed up to the HC for lunch, but it was closed. Sooo, we headed to Carlucci's Bakery for the BEST tomato basil soup. YUM! It was delicious. Taylor headed off to work, and Stella and I headed to Gateway for a little shopping :) We shopped til we almost dropped, and by seven, we headed up to the dorms to get ready for an exciting night out.

So here's where it gets good.

We got ready in Stella's room: Me, Taylor and Stella. The plan was to go to a fashion show in Salt Lake. But we (being typical girls) took forever to get ready and were running late. So we decided to skip the show, go grab dinner, and then head to the after party. We went to Smith's and got sushi (chips and hummus for vegetarian me!!!), and headed over to Spoon Me to eat (JP work's there, so we figured we could go use the table and chairs there). After a not very filling dinner, we drove over to the fashion show, and headed inside. After laughing like hyena's for a good twenty minutes while sitting on a bench, we decided to go dance. We danced and danced and laughed and laughed. Not the greatest electronic music, not the best group of people, but we had a bit of help having more fun despite this. We decided to leave at about 11:30, becoming more bored with each minute. We made our way up to the dorms, searching for somewhere else to go. After numerous phone calls and no avail, we decided to head to JP's  to hang out for awhile. We did, watching YouTube videos and who knows what else, while more laughing occurred. I eventually fell asleep, until I was (rudely!!) awakened and forced to walk back in the freezing cold to the dorms (it wasn't that cold, I was just tired...). We got ready for bed in Stella's tiny room, and were awakened (again!) by their friend Travis, who needed somewhere to stay. So after lots of Peeps throwing, random laughing, and eating ("I'm hungry!") the four of us finally fell asleep around 4 AM. 

Oh man, what a night.

Oh and just so everyone knows, chickens don't fly.

And honestly, this post doesn't compare to this actual night, I swear.

Day 49: SOUL Searching

Today was a day of decision making.

Today, I decided to take a leap.

I'm leaping, skipping and singing on my way to chase my dreams.

Today, I decided to make a drastic change in my life.

Nothing's finalized, but let's just say my life is going to be a continuity of exploring to the ends of the earth. Literally.

Day 48: Searching

I'm searching for a lot of different things in my life. 

trying to figure out the ever so cliche, "who i am".

not sure exactly what direction i want my life to take, and afraid to take risks right now, for fear of living in regret.

but if i don't take this risks now, will i regret it later?

aw man. so many things to figure out. 

ps, i know this is SO contradictory to my last post...but my last post referred to that day...and the song that i REALLY like. 

pps, props to Stella for bringing me Whole Foods deliciousness (apples and dried mangos!!), and crashing my ever so exciting party at my dorm tonight :) 

Day 47: Everything is in it's place...

...and I can't stop the smile on my face.

:)

Day 46: ONE DAY WITHOUT SHOES

ONEDAYWITHOUTSHOES.

APRIL 6, 2011

I went without shoes for an entire day.

I chose to live my life shoeless for one day, to raise awareness for those who don't get to choose.

Millions of people in the world do not have the means to own a pair of shoes.

One. pair. of. shoes.

How many pairs of shoes do you own? Think of how you take them for granted and never think about throwing a pair on when you leave in the morning.

Honestly, I love shoes. They're one of my favorite things.

But I never knew how it felt to actually go without them.

I will never come close to understand how people feel living their life shoeless everyday, but I now know that I can help these people by raising awareness for them, and encouraging people to help, and raise awareness themselves.

Shop TOMS.com, buy one pair and you donate one pair. 

Are you going to go shoeless next year?

Day 45: Let's Go

Aw man, I wanna travel. Let's go! Let's go somewhere! Road trip!!

Day 44: Snow in April

skiing in april is a new experience for me :) I kinda sorta like it!!

Day 43: Cheater Cheater Pumpkin Eater!

So. I know this might be considered cheating. Because TECHNICALLY I didn't take these photos today. But I got them developed today!! Because it was my first roll of film and I wanted to share my first film with you :) ...And I have been extremely busy and lacking at spending quality time with my camera...I know I know, I'm a failure! No just kidding, I'm sure you can find the kindness in your hearts to forgive me!! :) :) :)

Day 42: UTAH UTES

Had my first Division 1 Track and Field meet today. PHEW I was nervous. Never been that nervous in my life. Terrified. But I was so happy with the outcome :) I threw a PR and made finals! It was so exhilarating!