Day 101: the little things, you do to me

The smallest things make all the difference in the world. 

I am trying this new thing, where I only live in the present moment. Worrying about the future leaves me with a constant headache. I want to live in the present, being thankful for what is right in front of me, and for who is standing behind me. It's SO hard to do. I dare you to try it for a day. You realize you think a lot more about the future then you might ever think. Enjoy your surroundings, and take some time to stop and smell the roses...or the little purple flowers you find gloriously precious while walking your dog...

Day 100: Home

I'm home. In Pennsylvania. And I have a humungous to-do list for the summer. I want to keep busy for the summer, whilst figuring a few things out. But when I am busiest is when I am happiest. So summer 2011, watch out, I'm coming through!!

Day 99: HAWAII DAY THIRTEEN (kinda...)

We left today...tear tear. So depressing. Why do all good things have to come to an end? ...So new good things can begin.

Day 98: HAWAII DAY TWELVE

My love for trees is endless. My love for trees extends from every pore in my body, reaching out just the way a tree limb reaches towards the sky. I want to hug trees all day. Call me a treehugger, but shouldn't everyone be hugging trees when they are the reason we're alive? Without trees, we couldn't survive, for numerous reasons. I find solitary peace in a forest, a peace I can almost never find anywhere else. The forest has always been my go-to place, my thinking place. It is a place where nothing is judged and no one is wrong. Everything is in its right and perfect place in the forest, including me. I walk through a forest and every time am full of awe and wonder, wondering what secrets each tree holds. What have these trees seen and heard? I have such a respect for them, for been so solid and steady. So please, next time you're in a forest, hug a tree, and if someone asks what you're doing, tell them trees are the reason we are breathing, and therefore, we are forever in their debt.

Day 97: HAWAII DAY ELEVEN

Well today we woke up early and set out for what turned into be an epic hiked. We were only supposed to hike a short six mile hike, but we ended up going for about ten miles. The second half of the hike, which we knew nothing about, was a combination of scaling cliffs and "huffing", aka hiking (or climbing) up the side of a mountain. It was a lot of fun, but extremely hot at some points. Our main goal of the day was to get to the beach though, so after hitchhiking back to our car, we descended from the mountains and headed to a well known "local" beach, Polihale. Let me just say, Polihale is EPIC. It's a 4-mile dirt road to get there, but this is a beach that would be worth a 20-mile dirt road. It has beautiful sand and perfect waves, and is located next to extreme and beautiful cliffs. We spent the rest of the day at the beach, swimming and relaxing, then witnessing a quick yet perfect sunset straight out from the beach. It was a good day!

Day 96: HAWAII DAY TEN

Hiking, hiking, hiking.

We did one of my favorite hikes of the trip today. We climbed up mud slides and trekked across boardwalks winding through tropical rain forests and came out to a view of the mountains plus Hanalei Bay. It was about a six mile hike, and worth every second. On the way back, the clouds lifting magically revealing the Kalalau Valley, otherwise known as the Garden of Eden. It was a spectacular sight, bringing to mind only thoughts of happiness and purity. You could look down the side of the cliff and not even be able to see the bottom. Green took over your vision, and slight vertigo was induced. Although I am not actually meditating in this picture, it would have been the perfect place to meditate. 

Day 95: HAWAII DAY NINE

I need to apologize...I have not been very good with updating you on everything that has been happening here in Hawaii. I am just constantly doing something...if you knew my family you would understand. We go from place to place to place...I don't even have time to sit on a pier and think. Which is a lot of fun, but frustrating sometimes because I love to sit and think. I haven't even had time to write in my journal, let alone write intricate blogs on here. But hey, this blog is about my photos, right? So I will leave you to interpret what I have been doing by my photos :) Or, come on over when I get back to the mainland and I will happily fill you in at home!!!

DAY 94: HAWAII DAY EIGHT

What do you want to do in life and why do you want to do it?

Day 93: HAWAII DAY SEVEN

Somewhere over the rainbow...is where I want to be. Actually, right where I was standing when I took this picture is where I want to be. The Kalalua Trail. On the most beautiful coastline in the world, the NaPali Coast! Today was a good hike, and then souvenir shopping in the town of Hanalei, followed by a dinner at Postcards Cafe, a place I HIGHLY recommend for dinner :)

Day 92: HAWAII DAY SIX

Today was a day of beaches and STAND UP PADDLING :) New favorite sport, for sure. it's so relaxing. It's like yoga. Because it requires balance, but it also requires extreme mental focus. It's a sort of meditation. I loved every second of it, and was so glad I was able to contemplate in such a beautiful bay. In other words, the beaches today were pretty rainy, which is a big downer. I know that it has to rain in the rainforest of Kaua'i, but why does it have to rain on the beach?! ;)

Day 91: HAWAII DAY FIVE

This sunset. Made me think. Sunsets are the best places to think. They truly are. I sat here and watched the sun beautifully reflect on the ocean and turn the ocean pinker and pinker, contemplating my life and who I am. There are so many things I want to do, and modify in my life, yet they terrify me. I have come to the "conclusion" (in quotations because my conclusions are anything but conclusive) that fear is always going to stand in my way. It will always be there, taunting me and frustrating me. Sometimes it will hinder me from certain experiences and bring me down, way down. Sometimes this fear hits me so hard that I fear even more that there is no way up, and no room for breathing. It's like a tsunami takes the life and enthusiasm from you. And it frustrates you to your bones, leaving you chilled, bloodless, and overall stumped. The path seems to dead end, leaving you with no escape and no room to breath. Fear slowly creeps into your life, making your decisions for you, drowning out your screams for help. But it's time for me to fight back, because I am sick of it. Frustration and annoyance is overthrowing my fear today. Ultimately I have two paths, and I am taking the higher one. The higher one leading to where I belong and who I want to be. Fear may always be a part of me, but it will no longer control me. 

ps, happy happy happy birthday to my best friend JP!!!

And on a side note, today on Kaua'i we found a GORGEOUS beach. Secret Beach. it's my favorite beach s far :) We hung out there most of the day until we headed to another beach, which I already forget the name of...uh? But it was a good day full of beautiful beaches, smoothies and shave ice!

Day 90: HAWAII DAY FOUR

SO.

Today we flew to the island of Kaua'i for nine more days of tropical paradise. Only thing is, this island is BETTER then tropical paradise. As soon as we got here, we realized how amazing this place really is. This island is how I expected Hawaii to be. No fancy resorts here, not many people, just pure jungle and beach. There is only one major road that makes a semi circle around the entire island...so it's quite hard to get lost here. We're staying in a beautiful house located in the most beautiful bay in the world: Hanalei Bay. It's gorgeous here. Wow. My breath is actually taken away at the beauty and solitude of this island. It's a true locals atmosphere, everyone is very friendly. I feel as if I have left the States though just because of the pure wildness of this island. All i have to say is: Oahu 0, Kaua'i 1!!!!!

Day 89: HAWAII DAY THREE

DAY THREE.

Last day on Oahu.

We explored a multitude of different beaches today on the North Shore of the island. They were all beautiful :) We then hiked six miles roundtrip to the very tip of Oahu. It was a beautiful hike, except that it was along an ugly dirt road. Soon after we headed out in search of the Lost beach, where they filmed their base camp. We found it! It was pretty cool, considering I had a slight obsession with that show. Next we drove to Sunset Beach, and played in the waves for an hour or so, soon after heading into town for some yummy Shave Ice. It was a long day full of driving and beaches!

Day 89: HAWAII DAY TWO

DAY TWO.

Today we woke up early and snorkeled in Hanuama Bay, which is an extreme tourist trap. It get extremely crowded and no one has any respect for the reef there. Everyone walks all over the rocks and coral, destroying the life there. It's a terrible thing to see, but the bay is absolutely beautiful, I just wish it was more isolated. After a morning of seeing some beautiful marine life, we decided to hike the Koko Head trail, which is essentially a trail that follows some sort of old train tracks going up the side of a mountain. It had 1100 stairs, and was decently hard! Can't say it was that strenuous, but my parents were breathing pretty heavy!

From there we headed to Sand Beach State Park, which is a very local beach. The waves are HUGE there! It's actually known for being on of the more dangerous beaches on the island due to the waves "skull crushing capabilities", but we didn't know that at the time. So in we dove, and let me just say, we got crushed! 

Day 88: HAWAII DAY ONE

OH MY GOSH.

DAY ONE.

Full of mountains and sea. So today we drove around the island of Oahu. It's a beautiful island, especially for someone like me who doesn't get to see the tropics very often. The mountains are STUNNING and absolutely huge. SO much bigger then I expected. The entire island is green. Green expands further then you could ever expect it. There is a perfectly warm breeze where ever you go. We spent the day mostly driving around and seeing everything, while getting out and taking touristy pictures at various overlooks. I keep wondering how I got to Hawaii...from the snow to the SEA!

Oh AND in the morning...I went on a run barefoot on the beach behind our house. I'm pretty sure that is a NO NO. I got humungous blisters on the bottom of my feet and was limping around all day...UGH :(

Day 87: TRAVELS

I failed. But I traveled all day! :(

On the bright side, I AM IN HAWAII!

...goodnight...

Day 86: The Night Before Life Goes On

My last night in Salt Lake. A night full of goodbyes and lasts. SO SAD. So depressed. I just want to state that I love my friends with all my heart. I have met some amazing people here. AMAZING. Saying goodbye to JP was awful. Have I ever mentioned that I hate goodbyes? I hate goodbyes. A LOT. The next day on the plane (yes I am typing this a few days late...), after saying goodbye to JP for the next two years, and saying goodbye to Taylor and Stella for a few months, I cried and cried and cried. The lady next to me thought I was crazy. But I couldn't help it. Those three have done so much for me, and they're amazing. I just can't stop saying how amazing they are. And as I was all depressed about leaving them, of course JP has his normal words of wisdom :) He said that although I am leaving my friends, and although there's a risk that I might lose my friends, I am going on my own "adventure" and lots of newer opportunities are going to open up. And he's right. So much is going to change in my life, and as difficult and scary as it might be, it's also going to be filled with lots of open doors. So I'm off, off on a new adventure in life.

Day 85: Mountains Mountains Mountains

So I know this photo is crap. It can't even compare to the elation I felt when I saw these. We were driving from the hotel to the Mountain West Track and Field Championships. And all of a sudden these gorgeous Rocky Mountains appeared. It blew my mind. It was as if I never saw mountains before. And I felt like a kid again, back in eighth grade, when I saw my first true mountains. I grabbed my notebook and began to right all my emotions down. This is what I came up with:

The awe and wonder I feel when I catch a glimpse of magnificent mountains off in the distance is possibly the truest and purest feeling in the world. It's as if I cannot tear my eyes off their majesty. They beckon to me, inducing curiosity, yet fear at the same time. Their snow-capped peaks glisten in the sunlight as they kiss the clouds floating above. I am overtaken with a sense of smallness, realizing I am merely a human in this vastly great world. Yet I feel pure, organic and ultimately perfectly human. I am filled with joy that such a sight can lead a human in a selfish world to feel humble and tiny. I wish in this moment that all beings in the world could feel the humbleness I feel. Today, instead of feeling as if I could move mountains, the mountains moved me.

Day 84: Exploration and Sunny Days

Wandered around Fort Collins, CO today :)

I LOVE this lifestyle and atmosphere here. Everyone is so friendly and happy. I want to live in a town like this, possibly Boulder, one day. I just am so full of contentedness when I am in a small town with people like this. I sat down at a coffee shop and just wrote and wrote and wrote today. It was so peaceful and calming :)

ps, happy birthday to stella!!

Day 83: COLORADO.

Oh uh, welcome to Colorado?

Day 82: Travels

A blizzard and a bus. In May. To Colorado. Long day. I love to travel, but nine hours on a bus...my gosh.

Day 81: Strawberries

Today I officially moved out of my college dorm. AH! The first place I ever lived on my own was a tiny room, and so much happened in my suite. It was a year full of lots of interesting things. But honestly, I am SO over dorm life. I want an apartment, to fully feel as if i am on my own :)

Day 80: Never Stop Exploring

Promise yourself to never stop exploring. Ever.

Exploration is a beautiful thing, whether you be exploring new places in the world, or exploring deep inside yourself. Lately, I have been doing both. I love exploring new places, because with each new place, I find a new part of me. But actually exploring deep into myself terrifies me. I have been doing it more and more, and finding out more and more that I never knew about myself. It's so terrifying. Because I am never sure about what I might find. What if I realize something I don't like about myself?! But I guess that's the beauty of it, and the fact that it's a risk. Sometimes taking risks are the absolute best things in life. But also the scariest...

Day 79: Alone

I would rather be alone then pretend to be alright.

Sometimes, I really do.

But not really...

Day 78: Picnic at the Park

I know I have said it a lot, but these two girls are amazing people. We went to the park today, and it was just a perfect day. We got frozen yogurt before that, and it was just absolutely wonderful. I can't explain how much I will miss them. And Utah. I just might be miserable. But we'll have to wait and see. 

On a side note, I love parks. Oh my gosh. Love them. I love that people are just outside wandering around, playing frisbee or walking their dogs, or working out. They just make me so incredibly happy. The fact that you can lay out a blanket on a beautiful Saturday afternoon and roll around in the grass can make everything in life seem perfect again. You can become a kid :)

Day 77: Which one?

I'm not sure which one I am. 

Sometimes I'm terrified, and sometimes nothing in this world can stand in my way.

Day 76: Off-roading, belly shirts, and bugs

A great shoot with two of my best friends :) These girls have gotten me through a lot for the last few months of school. I quickly got close with them, and I am honored to shoot their gorgeous faces! We took Route 80 to shoot at the closest end of the Salt Lake, and saw a gorgeous sunset, but got HAMMERED with bugs. I have so many bug bites! But it was a good day :)

Day 75: Can't even begin to describe...

...how ready i am to go to hawaii. oh man. i need a break. on the bright side, I'M DONE MY FIRST YEAR OF COLLEGE! As Stella's mom says, I have matriculated!!!! 

Day 74: Together

Love this quote :)

Yogi tea = LOVE.

Day 73: Know Peace

See peace.

Do you imagine peace?

Speak peace.

Do you practice peace daily?

Know peace.

Do you truly know peace?

Yes, this is speaking to recent events. As most of you know, Osama bin Laden was killed recently. Osama was a horrid person, who did horrid things. The terror he brought to thousands is something no one could easily forgive. His death brings mainly relief. Relief from the fear of terrorism and horrendous plots. But I do not agree that it is Osama's death that should be celebrated. No matter how evil of a man he was, he was still a human being. A life. In no shape or form am I easily forgiving this man, but I simply believe it is utterly grotesque in the manner that our country is celebrating a person's death. Parading the streets and "having a reason to party"? Is that how this country operates? Is that how our minds work? That we should hate our worst enemies even after their death, and rejoice in their suffering? That is not what our country was built upon. This is not what almost every single religion was built upon. Osama's death symbolizes a hopeful path to peace. And that peace begins in each and every one of our minds. A person must find peace within before they can show peace to another. So instead of parades and alcohol, let us begin on a path to forgiving. Forgiving and moving on, to conquer the many more important obstacles that still lie ahead. I ask each and every one of you to look deep into your hearts and ask yourself how you practice peace every day. And look to implement peace into you daily lives, because peace begins with each of us as individuals.

Day 72: Becoming a Kid Again

So. It was my BIRTHDAY today! I turned 19!! As you can see from above, I was having quite a good time. Stella and Taylor took me out for a sushi dinner the night before (30th), and then we came back to Taylor and I's suite and decided to become kids.

Meaning, we built a FORT. A birthday fortress. It was epic :) It honestly made me so happy. When is the last time you built a fort?! It's been awhile, huh?! And we decided to sleep in it for the next week. But for my birthday night, we decided to sleep in it and watch movies and bond. So Kenny and Jp came over, because I wanted to be with my all favorite people on my birthday!

Jp and Kenny tickled me for four hours straight. Yes. For my birthday, I almost literally got tickled to death. I don't think I stopped laughing the entire night. It was just one of those nights I will always look back on and laugh. I'm pretty sure that in the photo above I was being held in some sort of body lock so I couldn't get free...

I freaking love my friends. 

The next night, my actual birthday night (some of the photos above are taken the night before/morning of my birthday), Stella and I made enchilada's in the microwave as my birthday dinner. They were DELICIOUS. 

I was so glad to spend such a good birthday with such awesome people. Those four people make my days worth everything. They make me happier then I have ever been, and they're helping me pull through all the obstacles in my life right now. Even though it's my birthday, I feel like birthday's are more about celebrating friends, because my friends provided me with an extremely happy birthday. They did that for me, just by being them. So here's to my friends; my beautiful, selfless, happy and ultimately AMAZING friends.